Have you ever reacted in a way you later regretted or struggled to understand your own emotions? Self-awareness is the key to breaking these patterns. It helps you recognise your thoughts and behaviours, so you can make better decisions and build stronger relationships.
Studies show that self-aware people have greater emotional intelligence and success in life. Yet, many go through life without truly knowing themselves. The good news? Self-awareness is a skill you can develop.
In this guide, you’ll learn what self-awareness is, why it matters, and how to build it. With the right tools, you can gain clarity, improve emotional control, and create a life that aligns with who you truly are.
What Is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. It helps you see why you act the way you do and how your actions affect yourself and others. Instead of going through life on autopilot, self-awareness allows you to make conscious choices and respond to situations more effectively.
Many people confuse self-awareness with self-consciousness. While self-awareness is about understanding yourself, self-consciousness is more about feeling overly aware or anxious about how others perceive you. Being self-aware helps you grow, while being self-conscious can sometimes hold you back.
There are two types of self-awareness:
- Internal self-awareness – Understanding your emotions, values, and thoughts. It helps you recognise your strengths, weaknesses, and motivations.
- External self-awareness – Understanding how others see you. It helps you build stronger relationships and improve communication.
Benefits of Self-Awareness in Everyday Life
Self-awareness helps you understand your thoughts and emotions. When you know why you feel or act a certain way, it becomes easier to make better choices. This can improve different parts of your life, including work, relationships, and personal growth.
At work, self-awareness helps you recognise your strengths and areas where you can improve. It also makes teamwork easier because you understand how your actions affect others. Many professionals turn to executive coaching to develop self-awareness, as it provides guidance on recognising behavioural patterns and improving leadership skills. In relationships, being self-aware helps you communicate more clearly and respond with understanding instead of reacting without thinking.
Self-awareness also helps with stress. When you know what triggers certain emotions, you can find better ways to handle them. Instead of reacting quickly, you can pause, think, and choose the best response.
The Science Behind Self-Awareness
Self-awareness comes from the brain. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that helps with thinking and decision-making, plays a big role. It helps you reflect on your actions, understand your emotions, and see how others might view you.
Studies show that people who are more self-aware tend to manage their emotions better. This is because the brain builds stronger connections that help with emotional control. Over time, regular self-reflection can make it easier to stay calm and respond thoughtfully.
Practices like mindfulness and journaling can help improve self-awareness. They train your brain to slow down and notice your thoughts and feelings. The more you practise, the better your brain gets at recognising emotions and helping you make better decisions.
5 Practical Steps to Build Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is a skill that takes practice. By paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and actions, you can better understand yourself and make more intentional choices. Here are five steps to help you develop self-awareness.
-
Practise Mindfulness
Mindfulness means paying full attention to the present moment. It helps you notice your thoughts and emotions without reacting immediately. You can practise mindfulness by focusing on your breathing, observing your surroundings, or simply taking a moment to check in with yourself during the day.
-
Track Your Emotions and Patterns in Behaviour
Keeping track of your emotions helps you understand how they affect your decisions and actions. You can do this by writing in a journal or using a notes app on your phone. Try recording what emotions you feel, when you feel them, and what might have triggered them.
-
Gain External Perspectives from Others
Sometimes, the way we see ourselves is different from how others see us. Asking for feedback from trusted friends, family, or colleagues can give you a new perspective. They might notice habits or behaviours that you aren’t aware of. Listening to their observations, or seeking career coaching, can help you understand how your actions affect others and where you might need to adjust.
-
Question Habits, Beliefs, and Motivations
Many of our actions come from habits and beliefs we’ve formed over time. Some of these may help us, while others may hold us back. Take time to reflect on why you do certain things. Ask yourself questions like: Why do I react this way? What do I believe about myself, and is it true? Examining these patterns can help you make changes that align with what you truly want.
-
Recognise Emotional Reactions and Their Sources
Emotions often influence how we behave, sometimes without us realising it. When you feel a strong emotion—frustration, excitement, or sadness—pause and ask yourself what triggered it. Was it something someone said? A stressful situation? An old memory? Understanding where your emotions come from can help you manage them better and respond in a way that reflects your values rather than acting on impulse.
Common Barriers to Self-Awareness (and How to Overcome Them)
Developing self-awareness can be challenging. Sometimes, the way we see ourselves is not entirely accurate, or we avoid looking too closely at certain aspects of our thoughts and behaviours. Here are some common barriers to self-awareness and ways to overcome them.
-
Cognitive Biases That Distort Self-Perception
Our brains naturally take shortcuts when processing information. These shortcuts, known as cognitive biases, can affect how we see ourselves. For example, the confirmation bias makes us focus on information that supports what we already believe while ignoring anything that contradicts it. Similarly, the self-serving bias can lead us to take credit for successes but blame external factors for failures.
To overcome these biases, practise questioning your assumptions. Challenge yourself to see situations from different perspectives. Seeking honest feedback from others can also help, as they may notice things you overlook.
-
Fear of Facing Uncomfortable Truths
It can be difficult to acknowledge weaknesses, mistakes, or behaviours that don’t align with how we want to see ourselves. This fear may cause us to avoid self-reflection altogether or dismiss certain thoughts before fully exploring them.
Facing uncomfortable truths takes courage, but it is an important step towards growth. Instead of seeing mistakes or flaws as something to be ashamed of, view them as opportunities to learn. Taking small steps—such as reflecting on one specific situation at a time—can make the process more manageable.
-
Overcoming Self-Deception and Defensiveness
Sometimes, we convince ourselves of things that aren’t entirely true to protect our self-image. This can lead to defensiveness when receiving feedback or reluctance to admit when we are wrong.
To move past this, focus on listening with an open mind. When receiving feedback, pause before reacting and consider whether there is some truth in what is being said. Practising self-reflection regularly can also help you become more comfortable with recognising and adjusting unhelpful behaviours.
